In order to become our authentic selves, we have to examine where our emotions and motivations stem from.
I lifted this statement from Marcelle Pick, an OB/GYN nurse practitioner who blogs for Women to Women, a women’s health website. The statement got me thinking about why we behave the way we do in certain circumstances. For instance, when we receive negative feedback about the way we’re behaving and it shocks our system. Are we allowed to process the negative information then determine how to correct it? And in the process of correcting it, how do we hang on to our authentic selves?
I’m convinved that we can’t do this alone. We need a therapist or a higher power than ourselves to get us from where we are to where we aspire to be. But along the way, perhaps we will have an encounter with people who can help us connect the dots — or at the very least put the dots in order.
The way I see it we have to understand the emotions and motivations that influence our behavior and acknowledge they exist. That’s reality and once we’re spinning in the real world, we begin to understand how that emotional baggage can work for us and against us.
Here’s the challenge I face: taking negative feedback and using it as motivation to correct a perceived behavior. The older I get the more difficult it becomes because I am getting set in my ways. But I am also not so resistent to change that I can’t embrace the idea that I need to change. In my history, I have invested in changes and reaped a huge reward. For instance, I have changed my attitude towards an individual and later discovered that I have a lot in common with that person.
The struggle now is to reconcile how far I want to go to make change with what steps the other person needs to make in order to enahnce the relationship. And that’s when I realize that I can’t change how the other person reacts to me but I can change how I respond to them.
If I am honest with myself, I would admit that I am carrying around some emotional baggage that influences and motivates certain behaviors. The question for me: How do I weed through the emotional baggage to find my authentic self? And will I like what I find?
Can you identify your emotional baggage? What does it say about you and how you deal with situations in your life?
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Oh Ms Taylor, that is a tough question! I have far too much emotional baggage and I KNOW I often hold a grudge (and shouldn’t). But some stuff is just so hard to let go of– Which is why I’m in therapy
I often remind myself to “say in the present” and not dwell on the past. It’s not easy, but when I make the concentrated effort to be present, life seems so much easier to accept and then open myself up for change.
Thanks for a terrific post. I’ll be thinking about this one for a long while.
@PKG
Stay in the present is tough when the present is so darn confusing. I should have said that to myself last week but I was too busy trying to figure out what just happened and why it happened. A week later, and I’m getting over it — but for how long? Until the next time it comes up? And then, do I resort to the emotional stress I just put myself through for the last seven days? Ugh! Stay in the moment, Stay in the moment, STAY IN THE MOMENT!
Wonderful post CYT. The word that comes to mind after reading your post is “evolve.” I think recognizing things are the first step. Then identify whether these things affect you negatively or hold you back. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. If they do, how can you address them in a way that helps you move forward.
That’s my two cents.